Posto solo questa e il link per non intasare tutto QUI
How many JEM-HADAR does it take to change a light bulb?
- 1 but the light bulb has to be soft-WHITE
How many PACKLED does it take to change a light bulb?
- 2. one to say,"Packled can not change light bulbs", and the other to change the light bulb so that the first one can come over and explain way Packled can not change light bulbs.
- None. They need Geordi. Geordi is smart.
- Well, first they have to kidnap Geordi to make him tell them which way in the lightbulb is supposed to go........
How many TRILLS does it take to change a light bulb?
- 4. One to change the light bulb, and the other three to complain how they could of lived in a better body if they wanted to.
- Both of them.
How many VULCANS does it take to change a light bulb?
- "Aproximately 1.000000000000000000000000000000"
- 2. One to say light bulbs are highly illogical, and they others to mix the martinis.
- Two, but it is an illogical waste of effort to construct a light bulb for such a purpose.
- One: Any more would be illogical.
A KLINGON and a ROMULAN fall off a tall building at the same time.
Which one hit the ground first?
- The Romulan. The Klingon had to stop and ask for directions.
How many CARDASSIANS does it take to change a light bulb ?
- We don't need a light bulb, but if we did, we could take it from you !
- just one; however they first have to determine how many light bulbs they see.
How many BAJORANS does it take to change a light bulb ?
The filthy Cardassians took our light bulb !
How many BORG does it take to change a light bulb ?
- Light bulbs are irrelevant. Changing them is futile.
- Light bulbs are irrelevant. Darkness is irrelevant, Changing them is futile.
- They don't change the light bulb, they assimilate it . . .
- Two, one to screw it in the other to check for resistance which is futile.
- All of them.
How many BETAZIODS does it take to change a light bulb ?
I sense it has already changed.
How many ROMULANS does it take to change a light bulb ?
- We have been gone for a while, but we have returned to change it.
- Two, one to do it, and another to kill the first one and take the credit for it!
- Three: one to change the bulb and two to guard him so the Federation doesn't steal the secret.
- "We were gone, but we have RETURNED to change it!"
- 151. One to change the light bulb and 150 to self-destruct the ship out of disgrace.
- 2. One to change it and One to kill him and take the credit.
How many Romulans does it take to change a transtator?
- Two: One to change the transtator and the other to blow up the ship in disgrace
How many Federation SHUTTLE PILOTS does it take to change a light bulb ?
- Ooooops ! I dropped it !
How many Q's does it take to change a light bulb ?
- Here, now, Wouldn't you rather have this Super-Nova ?
- One. He holds the light bulb and the universe revolves around him.
- Change it into what?
- "Really, such a trivial task! Here, have a whole bank of flourescent lights instead!" (snaps fingers)
How many ODO's does it take to change a light bulb ?
- I will change IN TO the light bulb.
How many HORTAS does it take to change a light bulb ?
- NO CHANGE I
How many TRIBBLES does it take to change a light bulb ?
- 1,561,761 .......uhh,62....,ummm,63......64......
- One, but all you have to do is feed it.
How many HUMANS does it take to change a light bulb?
- What's a light bulb.
How many FERENGI does it take to change a light bulb?
- Two. One to put the new one in and one to sell the old one as an antique.
- Two:one to change it and one to sell the old one as new.
- None: they'll just sell the whole lamp to some young Starfleet Ensign.
- Just one, but he'll charge you double for it.
- "Ferengi Never change!"
- For the right price, as many as you want.
- None...they steal it and sell it for profit - Two. one to steal a new one, the other to go sell the broken one.
How many SHAPE-SHIFTERS does it take to change a light bulb?
- None. They are the light bulb.
How many KLINGONS does it take to change a light bulb?
- One to change the light bulb and the other to state that "It is a good day to change a light bulb".
- None. Klingons aren't afraid of the dark.
- None, they need a Cardassian to figure it out for them.
- None. Klingons can fight in the dark
What do they do with the old bulb?
- Execute it for failure.
What do they do to the Klingon who replaces the bulb?
- Execute him for cowardice.
How many Wesley Crushers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- None. He's that good.
How many Holodeck Characters does it take to change a light bulb?
- They ARE the light bulb. And the coffee table. And the door mat...
How many Empath does it take to change a light bulb?
- Well, the bulb has to really want to be changed.
How many Vidians does it take to change a light bulb?
- They don't change it, they just graft on the parts they need from one that still works.
how many Tamarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- Sylvania, when the lamp failed.
How long does it take Data and Rayna Kapec to screw in a light bulb?
-Your guess is as good as mine. (Rayna Kapec is the android built by Flint)
How long does it take Data and Deanna to screw in a light bulb?
- Till she passes out.
What do you do with an old light bulb?
Feed it to a Horta.
How many does it take to screw in a light bulb on DS9?
one-Rom
two-Odo and Kira
three-Worf, O'Brien and Dax
Quark: how many do you want, One strip of latinum each.
How many Founders does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them, but they change it into a human.
How many Voyager Probes does it take to change a light bulb?
- Only one, but it first has to merge with Thomas Edison.
How many red-shirt Ensigns does it take to change a light bulb ?
Oh, let's just say one, he won't make it back anyway !
How many Worfs does it take to change a light bulb?
- Two: one to point a phaser at it and the other to change it!
What did Worf say when he learned the light bulb was burned out?
- "I am not a merry man!"
How many TREKKIES does it take to change a light bulb ?
Okay, so ,y'know, like, in that episode wher Spock gets attacked by those vomit looking things, and, like, he starts doing weird stuff, like, he takes over the ship and it gets Kirk really mad, so they find out that they can use this super-bright light, but it was bogus, 'cause McCoy used the wrong kind of light, and it makes Spock blind ,so, like......what kind of light bulb are you talking about ??
How Enterprise officers does it take to change a light bulb?
- 2. One to shut off main power, and the other one to bring auxiliary light bulb power online.
How many Starfleet officers does it take to change a light bulb?
- Two. One to change the light bulb, and the other to die shortly after they beam down.
- None, it would be interfering with the natural development of the light bulb
How many Federation scientists does it take to replace a light bulb?
- Six. One to fill out the environmental impact statement, One to fill out a cost analysis, one to request the light bulb, one to do a labor study, one to do a post installation followup study, and one to follow up on the follow ups. A robot actually replaces the bulb.
How many Starfleet Engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
- None. If you run a phased inverse tachyon burst through the main emitter array grid and multiplex it with a subspace standing wave locked back into a diagnostic mode filter, you'll bleed off most of the static warpfield instabilities through the higher verteron harmonics of the decchyon field and get at least another 60 Watts out of the old one.
How many crew members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight. Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering section is burnt out, after which Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead. Scotty after checking around notices that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he can't see in the dark to tend the engines. Kirk must make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu and 3 red shirted security officers beam down. The 3 red shirt guys are promptly killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured. Meanwhile, back in orbit, Scotty notices a Klingon ship approaching and must warp out of orbit to escape detection. Bones cures the native king who is suffering from the flu, and as a reward the landing party is set free and given all the light bulbs they can carry. Scotty cripples the Klingon ship and warps back to the planet just in time to beam up Kirk and the rest. The new bulb is inserted and the Enterprise continues its five year mission.
non mi va di tradurre adesso 
